My Birthday In November!

Well, not really. I was born in April, same day as Nabokov, Kant and Lenin so I was doomed to dabble in lefty politics, lofty philosophy, highbrow literature, and maybe destined to live in LA too since Jack Nicholson and I also share a birthday.
Unfortunately, no famed artist or art historian was born on the same day, so that part is unexplained, so far. Maybe I landed in the wrong cultural industry?

So, why then announce Frenchy's B-Day in November, will you be asking, you my smart and observant FBC! readers? Well, for 3 reasons.

a) Because I feel like it, nan mais alors!
b) Back in April I didn't get to throw myself the huge party I usually do, for cause of too much exhaustion. But I still need a celebration, what if it's 7 months later? I don't care!
c) In case you haven't noticed, Thanksgiving is next week. Yay!

If you have just joined FBC! (welcome!) you don't know yet my regular monthly feature, Thanksgiving In [Insert Month Here]™, created to celebrate just anybody I feel like celebrating, though if you wish to join the list it's better to know me personally - it helps greatly - and generally speaking be nice. For real, everyday of your life. Otherwise, nixt. Pretend nice? Out of the way!

But this being November and the real Thanksgiving being just around the corner, I needed to do something else. And , I kinda wanted someone to celebrate me, just for once.
In person I am very, very nice, if a bit challenged in the humility department, not to mention vertically, so yeah, maybe I could be celebrated a tiny, tiny bit.
Anyway, since no one else is going to celebrate me and my B-Day was spent doing nothing, here it is.

'nuff said about my Frenchy self, I'm not going to praise myself any further, and I'll be spending Thanksgiving with lovely friends (Hi Austen and Jonathan!).
But, being an impoverished Frenchy vapidly looking for a job in these uncertain economic times, I have a bit of a wish list. I figure, if I saved you $25 (+tax) and probably a bit more by reading bad books so you don't need to, you guys could maybe pool your resources and get me presents. No? Yep, I knew you were a bunch of cool people!

So here's my list, dear Santa Claus readers. I truly need these, I swear, to keep company to my garden gnomes salt and pepper shakers. Speaking of which, this little fellow would be a welcome addition to my home. I could grow cat grass in the wheelbarrow for Pomme. She really enjoys watching me cooking, in case something would fall on the floor, and since winter is coming I need a cocotte to make stews. I'd like the 7q in yellow, thanks!
I tend to be very blue in winter (not enough daylight, and blogging doesn't help), and when I was a kid I was reading the stories of Moomin when in need of comfort. I didn't know there was a 2-volume comic-strips publication. I'd like both, please.
My nerdy self would really enjoy this translation of one of the greatest art historian in the Universe. I have a French edition but it is not complete (BTW, if someone at the Getty reads me: please put together an edition of Julius von Schlosser's complete writings. Many thanks in advance!).
I don't have a fireplace, but I do have a cat to sit on my lap when reading my Moomin books this winter, and I guess some melancholic soundtrack would be in order. I'm pretty much into Elliott Smith at the moment but don't own any of his records (I'm streaming music from here ). Any album would do, really, or better yet, the entire collection!

As much as I like being home, reading, writing the blog, cooking stews, baking cakes and cuddling my cat, sometimes my little Frenchy self needs to venture out in the big bad world, to see some exhibitions or even, the horror! attend openings. It's usually an opportunity eagerly awaited by idiot or otherwise fairly distracted drivers to hit me. It's not that I don't enjoy whiplash and other resulting debilitating back pains,really, but it is starting to grow very stale and feel a tad unfunny. So I'd like one of these, complete with driver, when I absolutely have to get out of the house.
Failing this, maybe a scapulary, a rosary, a St Christopher medal or two and one Fatma's hand could help, as well as some Jewish and Buddhist lucky charms if these exist (apologies to my Jewish and Buddhist readers for not knowing what these might be).

Aside from this, I'm fine. Of course I could do with one of these, or maybe with the entire catalogue from this place or some choice items from this one, but I don't have enough shelf space at present. I would also very much a curator's job here, but not until March as I need to finish some project first. I don't need anything from this place either, but the website is too cool and reminds me slightly of Fischli and Weiss.
My new expanded readership could also help me find someone who's an auditor at Deloitte and Touche, if possible (Accenture would do too). I need to interview someone from there to figure out what job they really do for this thing I'm writing.
Which leads me to the following:


Because, as I was telling you earlier I am very, very nice (and modest, cela va sans dire), if you do not wish to contribute to the fund to lift my little Frenchy but nevertheless chic spirits (you, cruel and mean you), I suggest you do something even kinder and more generous!
Adopt a striking writer!
Go drive by a picket line, select the most malnourished-looking one, try to lure him (did you see the pictures? They are 80% male picketers!) with some bait (beer, Groundworks coffee or such-like, In'N'Out burgers, macarons from La Maison du Pain for the sophisticated types), pick them up in your car and take them to your home. They need nourishing food, warm clothing, some place to sleep (your couch is fine) and wash (try to pick up a house-trained one), and lots of cuddling since these disenfranchised souls cannot write and occupy themselves outside of the picket lines. If you're lucky, maybe you'll even spot a cute one!
For the moment these poor stray cuties just need a foster place, but if the WGA strike prolongs itself well into the winter, it is likely they will need to find their loving forever home.
Don't let these poor innocent writers be sent to the pound redlisted by the cruel and insensitive studios and producers!
Adopt a writer today! And Jesus will thank you when you get to heavens (unlike Uncle Sam, since adopting a WGA cutie is not tax-deductible yet). If you are not a believer, the writer will thank you himself (or herself, if you pick one of the 20% female picketers) by warming your bed this winter, a more immediate reward when you see what energy prices are, no?

Thanksgiving In August!

Thanksgiving In August!

It is almost the end of the month and I realize I haven’t yet posted the second installment of my Thanksgiving In [Insert Month Here]™ series.
Not only this, but it spares me the pain of doing a bit of art world writing and I want to procrastinate on the upcoming Grand Tour post. I’m waiting for my lunch with Rita G., the best curator in this town, to hear what she has to say about it.

Meanwhile, I’ve decided to devote this Thanksgiving In August to my Distinguished Literary Correspondent, which is only fair since I’ve written about my other non-art reader* (Hi Annie!) in a previous post. Plus these two are friends and I don’t want to bring in strife, envy and jealousy between them. We’re bringing you fair and balanced views here at FBC! if slightly uncopy-edited and wholly unresearched.

So, are you asking, what would differentiate my one and only Distinguished Literary Correspondent (DLC) from my other and nonetheless also distinguished correspondents? I have tons of correspondents, what with moving countries and all that. Off course they are ALL very distinguished. We’re Frenchy, and chic! Nothing short of distinguished will do. Some of my correspondents, like DLC, I never see since many are so far away, but we can also live in the same city and never get to see each other.
For example, Jessie Bi that famed and fine chronicler of comics and graphic novels, I see once a year, if I’m lucky. When we were living in Paris at the same time we would almost never see each other but we would email weekly and sometimes daily. Jessie Bi is very distinguished in his own right too and I’ll probably devote a Thanksgiving in [Insert Month Here]™ to him one of these days, but DLC has just emailed me to say he’s reading the blog so there you are. Welcome Mike!

Anyway, let’s stop digressing and try to get back to the point. A DLC is, you have just gathered, someone you almost never see but correspond with. This particular DLC earned his name because he recommended to my attention the Courtier and Heretic book, a rather curious effort about the correspondence and only encounter between Spinoza and Leibniz. Now dear readers don’t jump to conclusions here, neither DLC nor I have much in common with the two philosophers. I think. Maybe DLC will beg to differ but I’m sure he has better things to do, like urgently go on vacation for example.
DLC and I met only once and thereafter started a correspondence that has proved rather enjoyable for me. Since Leibniz and Spinoza (should we call them Leibnoza or Spiniz , in keeping with US tabloids customs?I'll poll you on this, dear readers) met only once too and had some erratic correspondence, the comparison was apt but stops here.

What makes DLC my only literary DC? Well, for one thing he is a non-art person. All my other correspondents are in the art world, and aside from friends/family stuff we usually indulge in art stuff gossip, mostly. With DLC we mostly exchange emails about books, and he always has a very thoughtful opinion about what he has to offer.
He always goes beyond “the book is about […], I (dis)/liked it because” and offers interesting comparisons between things I would have never thought of. He’s also very good at explaining the structure of the narrative, the overall construction of the book, what he thinks of the characters, etc. Something I never done with anyone so it was a big eye-opener for me. I’m not super gregarious as a rule, so book clubs are not exactly for me, they remind me too much of middle school and the mandatory reads we had to do. But one-on-one emails suit me perfectly, and I realized one DLC is exactly what I needed to keep on reading.

Need another proof of DLC very literary-ness? He reads so many books (like, what? 5 a day? The FDA should hire him for their PR!) he probably never sleeps, and he’s not snobbish in his choices. I mean, any academic bore can go all uptight and recommend the highbrow stuff, but Mike has a very diverse and eclectic array of tastes. Plus, he teaches me new words, like “foist” the other day. For some reason he is also my one and only US friend who is attuned to cultural differences and he takes pains to explain some of the Pop culture references he’s making, so his jokes are not only extremely funny but very sweet.

The main reason of this Thanksgiving In August is that through his advice and opinion I have regained my taste for reading I was in danger of losing, by lack of cultural references (and too much work). So, many, many thanks Mike , it is truly a great gift, much, much appreciated.
BTW, when are you starting your literary blog? I’m sure my by now almost 10 readers would migrate to your URL!

Aside from this DLC is a professional writer, and judging from his emails he must be a truly good one. Granted, I’m a dumb foreigner and it’s his job/ craft to write all the time . But I admire someone who has such a fine vocabulary he can very concisely and elegantly convey what he has to say in about 3 sentences, when I need something like 6,000 + words for one idea. I want the same thing he’s having for breakfast! I also forgot to mention it, because unless he emails you (or starts his blog or do anything else I’ll publicize here) you won’t see it, but Mike a fabulous sense of humor.

DLC has also forwarded me in he past a few links about the art world he found baffling (not this one but in the same spirit). Was I ashamed of our idiot cousins! I felt terrible. I mean, I am traumatized myself when I stumble onto this kind of devious crap. That kind of stuff inflicted on innocent bystanders makes you realize how far we’ve gone from the innocent era when Chelsea what just some indifferent name to give to your dog -not that I will name my cat Institutional Critique myself.
I hope this won’t steer DLC away from art definitively, because there are some truly great people here (especially you, my 7 art-people readers) and in the end, there’s always the art. Some of it may even be very good!
Anyway, my thanks to DLC for all his help, including the non-literary kind. For all my other readers, I’ll keep you posted on what he does publish, broadcast, his Booker Prize, Pulitzer, Nobel Prize and a few Emmys thrown in for good measure, if he’s OK with that. In the meantime let’s hope he’s going to take a well-deserved vacation. He may even come back with fabulous tales of unexpected sights.



*2 non-art readers, that is, if I excuse my siblings from the non-art readership. Since they had to suffer me for decades, I figure the art stuff has sufficiently rubbed off on them that I have to exclude them from that pool. There will be hell to pay at Christmas, let me tell you!

Thanksgiving in July!

In the name of diversification, a non art-related post.
I totally, like, dig Thanksgiving, the holiday that made me love America. First of all it is the only holiday no one was ever able to give me the signification of, except everyone is gorging on food. I subsequently forever nicknamed it The Day When America Cooks(conveniently forgetting Marie Callender. No one is perfect).

Then, not being from here I don't have to endure any family-related tensions and obligations. Note to my potential future husband, you who are lurking on this blog: yes, we will spend all Thanksgivings of our future married life with YOUR family. X-mas with mine (dear future husband: you should have black, brown or gray hair, be not too tall, have a good conversation to compete with my incessant output and I appreciate a wicked sense of humor. Must like orange color).

Also, the day I first saw a Thanksgiving turkey I finally understood America. Why stoves are so big. Why fridges are so humongous. Why Costco and Smart and Final were created. You could feed an entire French village (such as Saint Aubert sur Orne and its 126 inhabitants, for instance) on one of these!
Anyway, I like it so much I decided I was going to have monthly "Thanksgiving in [insert month here]" posts and praise whoever I think is deserving.

A tout seigneur tout honneur, in the name of Food I'd like to post my first thanks today and honor La Maison Du Pain.
It is located on Pico, one block East of Hauser. Of course I have a vested interest in this French-Filippino bakery to remain open and busy.
I think their bread is so-so. Charles, the former baker (hopefully he will get a new visa soon and will come back) told me it's because the flours are very different here, with a different gluten ration. They are great for pastries but for bread, nix. Which probably explain why I never found bread I liked in America, with the notable exception of NYC bagels.
But the pastries at LMDP are fabulous, most particularly their fruit tarts. Plus they make mini-pastries, more like petits fours really that you can buy individually and savor with your espresso without feeling [too] guilty.
Their croissant is the best I had outside of France and does compete with many I had back home. Their pistachio financiers are genius and I advise everybody to try the tarte au sucre, and if they have it their viennoise.

Last year I ordered my B-Day cake there, a Royal made especially by Charles himself. It has this crunchy base made with praline over a chocolate cake, and topped with chocolate mousse. I had told them it would be for 25 people, but ooopsy in fact 60 were expected. As I was about to buy a large fruit tart to make sure my guests would have desserts, Josephine said: "it's your birthday. This tart was made this morning, [it was about 2 PM] so we will make a new one from scratch". And so they did, on the spot, and shelled some fresh pistacchios to sprinkle on top.


Aside from their niceness and great pastries, I am also thankful for Carmen and Josephine because they dared realizing their dream, late in life, and ditch their former life to start a brand new business. It takes guts, and the result is truly worth all the energy they put in. So thank you La Maison du Pain, not only for your great pastries but for a great lesson in optimism.