Attention All Art People! How Do I Get Featured On FBC?

Hello, My Dear Beloved, Devoted Readership,

I've been receiving more and more announcements, emails, questions over the last 4 or 5 months, often asking how the senders could be featured on FBC! So I feel it's now the time to remind you of a few things and explain some others.

The RECAP:

1. This blog started literally by accident, after I got immobilized by post car-crash whiplash last Summer. It is NOT primarily an art blog, even though there must be a ratio of 75% art-related content here. I have a few non-art readers, and many of those couldn't care less about who's swapping jobs where and what terrible thing such-and-such museum did. So bear with me and with them, I feature stuff here and there that's not visual. Like, Food Porn, books reviews, and my fabulously interesting take on French-US politics, the economy, whatever. You'll find them in the archives.
2. So far, you must have noticed there are no banners, GoogleAds or commercial advertisement on this blog. Therefore I am not making money out of it, so I don't spend all my wakeful moments updating it. Meaning, I may not have the time/energy/opportunity to announce your show or review it.
3. The corollary is... don't try to bribe me! Yes, I'm presently unemployed, but not that desperate that offers of free lunch or dinner are going to make me want to see your gallery, show, performance, book, and review it.
4. This is a one-woman, unpaid operation. I do other things during the day, and writing takes time. Sometimes I don't feel like it.
5. If you read FBC! regularly, you've seen I distribute my opinions freely, and when I don't like something I'm quite vocal about it. So, if I don't review your show...maybe it's better that way!


OK, but HOW DO I GET ON FBC!, are you going to tell us or what???

1. You're my friend. It makes it more likely I'm aware of what you're doing, and as such you have my priority. I usually signal so-and-so is my friend when I write, so everybody knows where I'm standing, and that I'm likely to be biased.
You can try to befriend me on Facebook (I'm too old and too clothed to be a Myspace gal) but it won't guaranty a spot here. Being a friend of a friend of my cousin 7 times removed, on the contrary, won't work. I had enough of your type thrown in my face when I worked in a gallery, thank you. (Note to artists trying to get a gallery: don't force your entry into the staff offices. EVER)
2. Your work is very, very good. Interesting. Challenging. Fun. Innovative. And, most importantly, I HAVE SEEN IT IN PERSON. There are dozens and dozens of works I may find interesting if I read about them, but if I don't see them I feel disqualified to write about it.
This being said, feel free to send me links to your website, I'll have a look, bu I can't promise I'll review you.
3. You are sending me really sweet and cute emails (Hi Natascha!), messages and comments. Or really fun. And it makes me want to help you out, whether I know you or not, have seen your work or not. What doesn't work is sending me abrasive, aggressive messages. Irony or sarcasm are best reserved for your own entourage, and please avoid stuff that smacks of desperation, such as "and this is my last resort before I end up on welfare".
Hmm, no. You can get a job, being a self-supportive artist may be a goal but it's not a birthright. Besides, FBC! is just a local blog, not Artforum's frontpage or the Marian Goodman's booth at Miami Basel.
4. Whatever you send me, please do it at least a week before your event happens. So I may get a chance to include it in "Your Social Life". And send me a low-rez jpeg or two, but please NO PDFs announcements. Send me your press release in the body of your email, or as an attached Word doc. Thanks!
5. If you were not announced or featured... don't send me reproachful, aggressive emails. It won't help your case for next time. Your email may have ended up in my Spam box, I may not have had time to write or post, or... your work really doesn't really fit FBC! Would you send old-fashioned figurative watercolors to a gallery that only shows installations and sculptures? I'm sure you get the point.

OK, BUT CAN I GUEST-BLOG ON FBC! OR NOT?

1. Yes! Definitively! You don't even have to be my friend. But you have to email me a few weeks prior, tell me what you want to write about. Say a show in LA or NYC or in Europe, but I'm even more interested in things that happen outside of the art world navel-gazing capitals. So if you're out there in Brazil, in South Dakota or else, I'd welcome your posts. As long as: you can write and spell, at least as badly as I do, and you send me images you've taken yourself or have copyrights-released, and tell me if you're friend with the person you're reviewing. And no plagiarism as well as no press-release copies.
2. You can also guest blog about non-art stuff. Music, books, comics, vernacular culture, curios, TV, American Idol, movies, food. It's fine, as long as you respect the rules above.


Meanwhile...thanks for reading FBC! It's been amazing to see the wide response to my amateurish little blog, and to meet my readers in person. I don't know how long the blog will last and it's likely it will stop when I regain a full-time occupation. I enjoyed the warm welcome and reception, so thanks everybody!
Thanks!